Holy Ghosted, Part 6: The Gifts Without the Weird

Misuse doesn’t cancel proper use

I’ve never met anyone who hated their birthday because people gave them gifts. Nobody’s like, “I can’t stand it. Every year people just keep giving me stuff…for free.” That’s not how this works.

Gifts are a good thing. My kids know that. At birthdays and Christmas, they’re asking every few minutes, Can we open presents now? And honestly, I like that. If I’ve given them something good, I want them to be excited about it.

But as a parent, I can think of several ways the whole gift thing can go bad, can’t you?

Sometimes the gift gets ignored. The toy goes in the bin and you never see it again. The shirt stays in the closet with the tags still on it. It was given, but it’s never used. That’s a fail.

Sometimes the gift gets misunderstood. You give them something they’re excited about, but they don’t actually know how it works. Like if I gave my son a drone he really wanted. He was pumped when he opened it and carried it around everywhere that first day. But then a few days later, I noticed he wasn’t playing with it anymore, so I asked him where it was. “It’s in my room. I couldn’t get it to work.” The gift was good. He just didn’t know how to use it. So he gave up on it.

And sometimes the gift gets misused. Like if I get my daughter Hannah a bike, I want her to ride it. That’s the whole point. I didn’t buy it so it could sit in the garage. But I also don’t want her riding it in the house, building ramps out of chairs and trying to jump the couch. Not because I’m against bikes—but because that’s not what the bike is for. She’ll break something. Probably her own head.

But here’s the thing. If that were to happen, I wouldn’t take the bike away and decide bikes were evil and we could never ride one again (and probably shouldn’t even mention “bike” at all). That would be crazy. Instead, I’d just correct her. I’d show her where it belongs. I’d teach her how to use it the right way. Why?

Because misuse doesn’t cancel proper use.

Just like you’ve given your kids gifts that you want them to enjoy, the Holy Spirit has given us gifts that He wants us to enjoy. But…

We’ve seen them ignored. Whole sections of Scripture that just…never come up. We talk about the Father. We talk about Jesus. But when it comes to the gifts of the Spirit, we quietly move on.

We’ve seen them misunderstood. People who don’t know what they are, what they’re for, or how they work—so they just leave them alone.

And we’ve definitely seen them misused. Things that felt chaotic, forced, out of order, or centered on the wrong person.

So we did what felt wise. We shut it down. We saw the bike ridden in the house…so we decided no bikes at all. And that feels responsible—until you realize it puts you in direct conflict with what the Bible actually says.

What Paul did when he saw it get weird

The church in Corinth had gotten weird with the gifts. Not a little weird. A lot weird. People talking over each other in tongues. Drawing attention to themselves with fanciful words of prophecy. Using the gifts in ways that created confusion instead of clarity. It was messy.

And Paul doesn’t write them and say, “Alright, that’s enough. Clearly this isn’t working. Let’s just stick to safer things. Sing and preach—that’s it.”

He doesn’t shut it down. He steps in.

In 1 Corinthians 12, he reminds them what the gifts are actually for:

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. (v. 7-11)

That’s the reset. Not for you. Not for your main-character moment. Not so people walk away thinking you’re impressive. The gifts are for building other people up. Then in chapter 14, he says something that should stop us in our tracks:

“Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy” (v. 1).

That’s not cautious or hesitant. That’s not, “Hey, if this happens, just be careful.” That’s a command to go after it. And then—right in the middle of correcting their misuse—he says:

“I wish that you all spoke in tongues…” (14:5)

Let that land.

This is the same church that’s getting it wrong. The same church creating confusion. And Paul’s response is not, less of this. It’s, I want more of this—done right. He keeps going:

“I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you…” (14:18)

What? That’s an incredible statement. In other words, I’m not distancing myself from this. I’m not embarrassed by this. I’m not backing away from this.

But then he draws a line:

“Nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind…than ten thousand words in a tongue” (14:19)

There’s the correction. Not rejection. Not retreat. Just alignment. And then he brings it home with the standard that governs all of it:

“Let all things be done for building up.” (14:26)

That’s the test.

Not: Was it powerful?
Not: Did it feel spiritual?
Not: Was it impressive?

But: Did it build someone else up?

Check your motive

And then—right in between all of this—he drops chapter 13. Not as a wedding verse, but as a correction.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal…” (13:1)

You can have the gifts. You can use the gifts. You can even use them in ways that look powerful. But if it’s not coming from love—if it’s not aimed at building others up—then it’s just noise.

That’s what Corinth was missing.

And if we’re honest, that’s where we’re tempted to swing the other direction. We see the noise, and instead of restoring love as the center, we remove the gifts altogether.

But that’s not the fix.

Ignoring the gifts isn’t the answer. That’s a gift unused.
Misunderstanding the gifts isn’t the answer. That’s a gift abandoned.
Misusing the gifts isn’t the answer either. That’s a gift twisted into something it was never meant to be.

The answer is what Paul actually says:

Pursue love. Desire the gifts. Use them for the common good. Do it in a way that builds people up. Not perfectly, but faithfully.

It’s possible to be so cautious that we end up ghosting the Holy Ghost and ignoring something God told us to pursue.

Don’t overcorrect into silence. Don’t let someone else’s misuse determine your obedience. If God gives gifts for the building up of His church, then the goal isn’t to avoid them. The goal is to use them the way He intended.

And if we get it wrong sometimes, we don’t shut it down. We learn. We correct. We keep going. Why?

Because misuse doesn’t cancel proper use.

And the answer to a bike being ridden in the house…isn’t to throw the bike away. It’s to take it outside—and actually ride it.

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